Unusual Yet Beautiful Engagement Rings

As some of you may know, despite my lack of fiancé I have already begun planning my ideal wedding - you now, like a totally heteronormative woman. I've got my colors picked out, dress styles I like, and venue. Because I look at bridal sites online once in a while ads for engagement rings tend to pop up as advertising on my Facebook, and I'm constantly astonished by the price tag on what, in my opinion, are some fugly-ass rings. So, here is a blog dedicated to engagement rings that may not carry the title "engagement ring," but that I think are beautiful and won't set your significant other back six or more paychecks.

 "Petite Elegance." Cost: $300 (Macy's) This sterling silver with sapphire center and 1 carat diamond accents is the "layman's" answer to royal Kate Middleton's engagement ring, once belonging to her late mother-in-law, Princess Diana. Perfect for simply elegant brides-to-be.

Pros: Small, yet packing in the jewels.

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

 "Poised in Purple." Cost $300 (Macy's) This sterling silver ring features graduated baguette-cut amethyst stones accented by 3 carats of diamonds. A modern look with a Roman-esque feel, perfect for brides-to-be who like to kick things up a notch.

Pros: Unique design, loaded with diamonds.

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

"Victoria Townsend Princess Ring" Cost: $150.00 (Macy's) This bright 3 carat blue sapphire is surrounded by a halo of sparkling white topaz set on an 18 carat gold band. Perfect for the bride-to-be who still thinks that gold is the color of love.

Pros: Unique design, 18 carat gold band

Cons: No diamonds and, in my opinion, gold isn't as pretty as silver or white gold

 "Marquis Sapphire" Cost: $300 (Macy's) This is my ideal engagement ring, so I'm a bit biased. This ring features a marquis-cut 1.5 carat sapphire surrounded by glittering diamond accents. The design is a mixture of modern and classic. Perfect for brides-to-be who share my impeccable taste.

Pros: It's friggin gorgeous; beautiful design

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

"Dashing Round Cut" Cost: $400 (Macy's) This ring features a desirable and unique design that seems to blend together a sort of timeless love. 5/8 carat of round cut sapphires are matched by 1/7 carat of round cut diamonds that swirl along this sterling silver band. Perfect for the classically romantic bride-to-be.

Pros: Uniquely symbolic design of everlasting love.



Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

 "Eternity" Cost: SALE $72.79, normally $181.99 (JC Penney's) This simple engagement band features 1/2 carat diamonds in simulated princess cut set on sterling silver. This is perfect for the bride-to-be who doesn't want anything too fancy or flowery.

Pros: Simple, wearable design

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time; may be much too simple

"As Dazzling As Your Love" Cost: SALE $99.99, normally $339.99 (JC Penney's) This classically beautiful ring sparkles and shines with near-perfect luster. Featuring 2 3/4 carat diamonds on sterling silver, this ring is perfect for classic and modern brides-to-be.

Pros: Classically elegant; deceptively simple

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time

 "Sophisticated Aura" Cost: SALE $99.99, normally $302.99 (JC Penney's) This is my third favorite ring on this list for its wintery yet incredibly loving appearance. This 3 3/4 carat diamond is reminiscent of icicles, but will keep your finger and heart warm during winter.

Pros: Absolutely beautiful; ideal for almost any bride-to-be

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time

 "Accentuated Brilliance" Cost: SALE $99.99, normally $272.99 (JC Penney's) This beautiful ring features three rows of band-set stones that accentuate the center stone and equal 2.35 carats in diamonds. Perfect for the elegant bride.

Pros: Deceptively simple; elegant design; lots of diamonds for your buck

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

 "Endless Grace" Cost: $300 (Macy's) This beautiful blend of onyx and 1/10 carat of diamonds swirls around the ring finger like endless grace, like your bride-to-be. The round cut diamonds create visual interest next to the onyx.

Pros: Visually stunning; unusual color pallet. 

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

"Victorian Elegance" Cost: $350 (Macy's) This ring blends 14 carat gold, sterling silver, and 1/10 carat of diamonds into a piece of Victorian-inspired wearable art. Perfect for the modern bride with vintage-inspired tastes.

Pros: Unique design; wearable art

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

"Treasured Heart" Cost: $350 (Macy's) This ring brings together literal romanticism and a modern twist. Round cut black and white diamonds meet in three overlapping hearts on a sterling silver setting. Perfect for the hopelessly romantic bride to be.

Pros: Literal love design

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time; literal love design; may be better suited as a Valentine's Day present or promise ring

"Art Deco" Cost: $500 (Macy's) This incredibly unique ring offers 1/5 carat of diamonds set in 14 carat white gold, and is perfect for the bride-to-be with refined yet adventurous tastes.

Pros: Beautifully unique design; white gold (come on!)

Cons: This ring isn't for everyone.

 "The Forever Knot" Cost: $450 (Macy's) This Everlon diamond ring set in detailed sterling silver is a beautiful symbol of undying love. Perfect for the bride-to-be with romantic and simply elegant tastes, this mixture of sterling silver and diamonds is sure to please.

Pros: Symbol of undying love

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time. This ring isn't for everyone.

"Swirling Ribbons" Cost: $550 (Macy's) This unique sterling silver ring set about with 1/3 carat of diamonds is a decorative one for the bride-to-be elegant yet flowery tastes. The deceptively simple diamonds blend beautifully into the spirals of this ring.

Pros: Unique and elegant design

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

 "Simple Glamor" Cost: $500 (Macy's) This Arabella ring is my second favorite ring on this list. It is simple, yet timelessly elegant with 2 3/8 carat diamonds set on white gold. This ring is the perfect fit for almost any bride-to-be.

Pros: Appropriate for nearly all brides; white gold (come on!)

Cons: Very simple

"Hint of Sparkle" Cost: $500 (Macy's) This Arabella ring is a classic taste on a classic cut. 2 3/4 carat diamonds sparkle along the 14 carat white gold band and blend into an exquisite round cute Swarovski zirconia center. Perfect for the very traditional bride-to-be.

Pros: Classic cut; white gold (come on!)

Cons: Very, very simple.

 "Oohs and Aahs" Cost: SALE $109.19, normally $272.99 (JC Penney's) This ring ties for second place on my list of absolutely stunning engagement rings. Delightfully simple, yet packed full of power, this princess-cut diamond packs 1 1/2 carats on a sterling silver band.

Pros: Beautiful; elegant

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time

"Refined Elegance" Cost: SALE $129.99, normally $339.99 (JC Penney's) This princess-cut ring features a refined yet sensible blend of classic elegance and wearability. Featuring 1 3/4 carat diamonds on a sterling silver band, this ring is perfect for the bride-to-be with refined but not flashy tastes.

Pros: Refined elegance; classic cut

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time; moderately masculine look

"Say Yes!" Cost: SALE $149.99, normally $393.99 Dozens of radiant stones surround the center of this gorgeous circular bridal ring. Its classic and timeless look will be cherished by your bride-to-be for years to come.

Pros: Classic elegance; bang for your buck

Cons: Sterling silver may lose its luster over time.

The Passion

I consider myself a fairly run-of-the-mill person, stirred by the ups and downs of celebrity relationships, rooting for certain couples on reality TV shows like Big Brother, The Bachelor, and Survivor, and judging the longevity of the relationships of certain couples who appear on The Newlywed Game.  I think what stirs me most, makes me want to invest my energy into caring about these relationships is their passion.  As a society obsessed with romance and relationships and how to get them, keep them, lose them, and sprinkle them with syrup, we place an undue amount of emphasis on passion.  Passion, passion, passion - where's the passion?  We've lost our passion.  What do we do when the passion's gone?  Um, cook dinner?

I'm not a relationship expert or a relationship scholar, just someone who's lived and loved, and have friends who have done the same thing.  Both sexes seem to get stir crazy when that proverbial passion is lost, but they have different ways of showing it.  Women, it seems, get anxious, start to feel inferior, question whether or not they're doing things right or whether or not their partner is still invested.  Men, the incredible communicators they are, shut down even more, and often seek refuge in other places.  No, no, not cheating on you - refuge with friends or work or a hobby.  Something that "excites" them.  Women go shopping. 

I have spent thousands of dollars searching for that dopamine rush, and have some hot pairs of shoes to show for it.  Still, what is it about "passion" - a noun that few people can even define - that gets us so hot and bothered?  For one, it's exciting.  First dates and first kisses are amassed with nervous energy, titillating provocation, and newness as well as uncapped potential.  As the dates and kisses become more routine, we wrongly assume that out relationships are dying when, in fact, they're usually maturing.

One sure thing about passion is that it's not sustainable, at least not in its original form.  The couples who last will always be passionate about each other, but it's very rare that, after a period of time, a couple will feel the spark of creation, or be nervous around each other, or haven't yet passed the "is it okay to fart?" stage.  Passion is great, no arguments, but a mature relationship can be wonderful, too.  Unfortunately, this tends to be an either/or situation.  Would you rather be worried about shaving your legs before a first date or able to sit around in your sweats?  Would you rather hope to find a date for Friday night or know that there's going to be someone there when you come home?  It's a matter of personal preference, and it is what separates the fabulously exciting single life from the more laid-back, comfortable world of commitment.

What happens, however, is that couples tend to become too comfortable in their world and completely neglect to do things the other person finds attractive or helpful or even livable.  More than losing passion, comfortable couples tend to forget that the other person is their own separate entity.  Okay, women, so you've been together for a year and you don't need to shave your legs, but would it kill you to make them silky smooth once in a while?  Or to get out of those sweats and into a dress?  Or to surprise him with some new lingerie?  And guys, would it kill you to remember to bring flowers once in a while?  Or do the dishes?  Or send a suggestive text telling us something dirty you'd like to do when you get home (and we don't mean gardening!)?  Remembering little things goes a long way in sustaining a committed relationship and keeping it from dipping into the terrifying "no passion" universe.

A Canyon of Sun: A Love Story

When Tillie was younger, she used to dream of her big wedding.  Ever so carefully, she would assemble all her stuffed toys in neat rows, put on her prettiest dress, and pretend to put on make-up.  She picked forget-me-nots, buttercups, sweet Williams, and Queen Anne’s lace from her mother’s garden to adorn her hair.  She put on a plain silver ring and pretended it was a princess cut diamond engagement ring sparkling on her left ring finger.  As she walked down the isle -- which she had crafted from her pale pink sheets -- she imagined all her guests gazing at her adoringly.  She practically heard them whisper, “Look how gorgeous she is,” “what a lucky man to marry such a beauty,” “everything about this wedding is so elegant.”  Of course, Tillie pretended she didn’t hear the doting whispers as she made her way slowly down the isle, but they always made her smile and feel oh-so-good about being Tillie.  As she reached the altar – which, on days she didn’t play wedding doubled as an Easy-Bake Oven – she looked bashfully upwards, in a way she would continue to think of as her signature flirtatious glance.  Always, to Tillie’s disappointment, there was never a groom.  She had to put the ring on her own finger and kiss a specially adored teddy bear on its black, cloth nose.  “Someday,” Tillie said to herself as she cleaned up her wedding guests. 

          

“Someday” was a mantra Tillie repeated to herself a lot in life.  When she reached middle school and popular boys asked her friends to dances, Tillie was left alone.  Not even the unpopular boys wanted to ask Tillie to the dances.  When she looked in the mirror, she couldn’t find anything wrong with herself and, having confidence that she was smart and fun, Tillie didn’t understand the problem.  Tillie went to the dances anyway on whim, hoping that there would be some boy there, maybe from a different school, who would sweep her off her feet and carry her into the sunset.  Tillie was hopelessly set on romance.  Sure, once she was there, all dressed up, Tillie was invited to dance once or twice, but, Tillie thought, her suitors were considerably more obliging than romantic.  She left most dances heartbroken.  She watched boys ask girls considerably less attractive than herself (and most definitely less poised and well-mannered) to dance while Tillie remained static on the uncomfortable tin chairs.  After several hours of this sophomoric torture, Tillie would promptly stomp off.    

Tillie’s mother had always taught her that one could meet the love of their life anywhere, so Tillie always dressed for the occasion.  At school, she wore her nicest clothes and, on sunny days, large, elegant hats, like a lady.  Although she had certainly seen all her schoolmates before, a new boy might show up and Tillie would be horrified if that boy should see her in tattered jeans and t-shirts like the other girls wore, looking uncomfortably ordinary.  It seemed to Tillie, however, that that’s what boys her age liked:  ordinary.  Tillie then reasoned that, if a boy wanted ordinary, he wasn’t worth her time and she would continue waiting.

Tillie got to high school and found that it was more and more difficult to find classy outfits.  She settled for skirts and dresses with flare that set her apart from everyone else.  Her teachers commented on her style, calling it “smart.”  During a parent/teacher meeting, her English teacher expressed some concern to her mother about Tillie’s style, suggesting that it kept her apart, socially, from her peers.  Tillie, who was in attendance, huffed at this remark, whispered to her mother that “someday someone will come along who understands my style” and promptly left.  

As Tillie’s junior year of high school approached, she started dreaming of the prom and the wonderful way she would look at such an elegant event.  If only someone should ask her.  Independent as she was, Tillie didn’t dare to go alone to a high school prom.  “Preposterous,” she said to her mother, who had suggested the idea, “absolutely preposterous” and promptly stomped off.  Tillie’s mother tried to reason with her.  She even bought Tillie the most beautiful prom dress Tillie could imagine.  Like one from a fairly tale, it was tight and ruched at the bodice and flowed out into thick, sequined taffeta.  With the dress, Tillie’s mother had bought an exquisite, thin diamond necklace.  Tillie was almost sold on the idea, but knew she would be humiliated looking so wonderful without a date.  Tillie spent prom night crying into the pale pink taffeta.  

After high school, which was a bitter disappointment, Tillie went to college.  She didn’t go to an extraordinary university, although she was a rather extraordinary student, but chose a large state school.  Tillie’s first roommate was blonde, popular, and, by Tillie’s standards, much too thin.  Rosalyn, that was her name, had boys in the room nearly every weekend.  Tillie was both disgusted and jealous. The first semester dragged by slowly as Tillie searched for someone to connect and talk with, besides her roommate who Tillie did not like very well.  

Tillie watched countless girls from her school find boyfriends, lose boyfriends, find new boyfriends, get engaged, and prepare to start their lives as married women of the world.  Horribly jealous, Tillie window shopped, pretending to be a bride until she almost believed she was.  Her mother told her to be patient and her girl friends told her that, someday, the right man would surely come along.  “Someday,” huffed Tillie, and promptly left.

Tillie chose a major in English literature and ravaged through timeless stories of hopeless romance.  She imagined herself in Jane Eyre’s prophetic moors or the subject or a Lord Byron poem.  As she eased through Byron, she wished one day for a man as elegant as the poet to recite such prose to her.  She enjoyed imaginary romanticism so much and lived so vicariously through novels and poetry that she wrote her thesis on love in the time of Jane Eyre, the likes of which her college had never seen.  Her thesis was so well crafted she earned several collegiate awards and her name in college archives.  Her professors and other critics said her work was “moving, intellect meets true yearning.”  Tillie almost found this comment insulting – what did they know of her yearning – and she very nearly promptly left when, out of the corner of her eye, she caught a young man staring at her.  

She turned very slowly, absolutely flummoxed as to what to do in such a circumstance.  She stared at him for quite some time.  He waved a friendly wave.  Tillie sort of shook her hand in the air.  He looked puzzled but stepped closer.  Tillie lost her breath and didn’t speak.  

“I read your paper,” the young man said.  Tillie didn’t even move.  He continued, “I thought it was excellent.”  Still, Tillie was paralyzed.  The young man stood in front of her for a minute, waiting for her to say something, anything, but she didn’t.  The young man sighed.  “It was nice to meet you, Mathilda,” he said as he turned to go.

 
Tillie watched as he turned, the event happening in dramatically slow motion.  “It’s Tillie,” she called after him.
 

“So you do speak?” he said as he turned back to face Tillie.

“Not often or well,” she said, and he laughed.  

 “You write remarkably,” he said.

 “You speak remarkably,” she said.

 “Then perhaps our conversations will be stilted.”  

The young man, whose name was Jeremiah, took Tillie out for coffee that afternoon where he found that she, too, spoke remarkably well, and about interesting things.  They engaged in long conversations about history and literature, biology and health, animals and plants, theology and mathematics, and the foundation of the world.  They found they had a difficult time running out of things to talk about.  For three weeks, incessant chatter from the both of them led to four or five-hour discussions until one day neither or them had anything to say.  Instead, Jeremiah kissed her.  Tillie, who had been kissed before, but only by boys who were not worthy of her lips, kissed him back and smiled as they parted, certain that now they would always have something to talk about.  

They spent the next year talking and kissing and falling in love.  After graduation they travelled around the United States seeing landmark items and taking ridiculous photographs, in addition to kissing and talking and falling in love.  They stayed in cheap hotel rooms with prefab furniture where they fell in love and kissed and talked.  When they reached the Grand Canyon, for once, Tillie could not bring herself to words.  The vastness of the desert and the strange beauty that lay beneath her feet was epic and she could voice nothing adequate.  Nor could Jeremiah who, at the moment, seemed quite nervous.  Tillie assumed he was scared of heights as her heart, too, was somewhat palpitating at the prospect of a disastrous fall into the gorge below.  

They had arrived at the Grand Canyon at 9:30 that morning and they remained in that same spot until 4:30 that afternoon.  Both Tillie and Jeremiah were so taken aback by the scenery and felt so overwhelmed by the nature that they sat in silence all those hours.  They didn’t eat, only sipped water so as not to dehydrate in the desert heat.  

“Jeremiah,” said Tillie not looking at him.  “What time is it?”

Jeremiah looked at his watch and immediately cast his eyes back towards the canyon.  “4:30.”  

“Do you think we should start our hike?” she asked.

“No,” he answered, and wrapped his arm around her waist.  

Tillie liked the way she felt with him.  She felt like herself, but better.  Also safe and cared for, loved, unjudged, and beautiful in his eyes.  She remembered her prom night, crying into the pale pink taffeta and the stories Jeremiah had told her about his prom.  He had gone alone.  Tillie thought him brave for that.  Her mother did, too.  Tillie knew then that she would never have to spend another night crying into fabric.  Jeremiah wouldn’t let her.  Whenever Tillie was upset, which wasn’t often, he comforted her, rested her head on his chest and kissed her hair, her eyes, her tears, her lips, and told her countless times that he loved her and that he would always be there for her.  Tillie inched closer to Jeremiah.  Jeremiah knew that he would never have to brave another event alone.  Tillie was always eager to join him on excursions and she would help him find the right outfits and fix his hair so his cowlick didn’t show.  

“Tillie,” he said, and she rested her head on his shoulder, “Tillie, I want to grow old with you.”  Tillie sucked in her breath, sure of what was coming next.  He turned to face her and grabbed her hands with great passion.  “Grow old with me Tillie,” he said excitedly, and she nodded.  “Grow old with me and see the world with me.  And when we’re too old to walk, promise me we’ll get two Hoveround Power Chairs and roam the world together.”  Tillie laughed as tears of happiness streamed down her face for, as foolish as it sounded, that was exactly what she wanted too.  “Marry me, Tillie.”  He offered her a princess cut diamond engagement ring from a black velvet box.  All of Tillie’s childhood hopes and dreams flooded through the Grand Canyon as she accepted Jeremiah’s proposal.  And for another six hours, the couple sat and watched the sun set on the Grand Canyon, falling in love and talking and kissing.

Deflatable Toy or How the Internet Kills Your Spirit

I was reading an article from AskMen.com, which offered men advice on how
to tell their  girlfriends to lose weight.  The six “crafty” steps were: 

1.  Tell her you no longer like the way she looks in her sexy outfit, but can’t explain why; 2.  Constantly complain to her that you feel fat so she will become obsessed with her own weight;

3.  Pick your homeliest friend to say, while you and your girlfriend are present, “Your girlfriend isn’t nearly as attractive since she gained some weight;”
4.  Tell her you have a new female trainer at the gym to induce her jealousy reflex;
 5.  Buy her a fashionable gift a couple sizes too small for her and tell her the salesperson told you it was for smaller women to trick her mind into constant exercise and diet to keep you believing she’s thin;
6. Offer to lose weight together. 

Excuse my French, but what the hell is that?!  To any man out there who has read this article and is thinking about or has already begun implementing these “crafty” steps, I would like to say that any woman with an IQ higher than a rock will figure out that all of these things are just backhanded ways of telling her you think she’s too fat and any self-respecting woman will either confront you about your narrow minded view of beauty or dump your sorry ass.

As much as you may want to believe that women are shapeless canvases of play dough waiting for a partner to come along and make her into their vision, we’re not. In fact, whatever shape we come in, we came in long before you stepped into the picture.  And further more, chances are we already scrutinize ourselves enough, then add into that the perpetual media mantra readily available on television, magazine covers, and in movies that thin is in and that once in a while you’ve “gotta take one for the team” (read:  you must occasionally entertain the fat chick so that the others of you can get laid), and that there is only one way to be beautiful.  So drop it.  We’re not looking for that crap at home.

The next article I found about dating fat women was equally as bad.  Entitled “Ten Reasons to Date a Fat Girl” by Gabrielle Talley of Break Studios, her article – assumedly written to be fat positive – comes across as a patronizing generalization about what you will get out of dating fat women.  According to Talley, fat girls are more focused on their brains (read:  have given up their appearances) and thus hold more interesting conversations, are more apt to share your humor, and more apt to be knowledgeable or want to increase knowledge.  Fat girls will eat anything.  Fat girls love to be touched (read:  they rarely get it, so they’re more inclined to give it).  Fat girls rarely or never work out, so you’ll have time to do more fun things together. Fat girls are inclined to trust because their only requirement is that you’re honest.  Fat girls are up for anything (read:  complacent).  My personal favorite reason to date a fat girl, however, requires a direct quote:  “Many other guys may look at your fat girl, but not too many will hit on her. Thin girls get hit on all the time. You never have to worry about your fat girl getting picked up by another man.”[i]  Thanks for the vote of confidence, Talley!

[i]Gabriella Talley, “Ten Reasons to Date a Fat Girl, “Break Studios, (12 March 2010), www.mademan.com

Looking for Love (In All the Wrong Places)

Dating is hard.  It's hard for everyone, I imagine, but I can only speak for my personal experience as a fat bachelorette up against long-legged, small-waisted, generally thin women.  Part of the difficulty is in the label of compliments.  For instance, when I go out with a very good friend of mine (who, by the way, is 5’9” and about a 30 inch waist) she could be dressed in sweatpants and would still be “hot.”  I, on the other hand, rarely get anything beyond “cute.”  As if fat and hot cannot be synonymous.  
Another difficulty is actually finding someone who truly enjoys me and my body for exactly what it is.  It’s generally a crapshoot and/or a waiting game.  Fear of rejection causes me to sit on the sidelines, hoping someone will approach me.  I justify it by saying that I’m not everybody’s type.  But let’s face it:  that’s bullshit.  Everyone is not somebody’s type, but the hyper-stigmatization of fat makes it that much more difficult to gain the confidence needed to approach someone, to believe that you could be desirable, and not simply to settle for someone less than you deserve/to whom you are not attracted because they like your body. Fat Admirers, or FA’s, are exactly as they sound:  suitors (normally male-associated) who desire larger partners (normally women). Dimensions magazine prints articles by fat women about their experience with FA’s and, it turns out, these Don Juan-types who jump from woman to woman, don’t ever call after promising they would, and are always thinking about their next prospect, aren’t the heroic lovers many want them to be.

Maybe FA's "aren’t so very different from thin admirers, except for the small issue of the culture’s scorn at their willful defiance of ‘normal’ fetishes and sexual preferences”[i].  That willful defiance can make them very attractive to fat women, who, at least from my perspective, aren’t accustomed to that kind of attention.  After the FA’s it often feels like the only option is dating someone who looks like you.  But that may not be what you want, so what do you do? 

Just as you can’t change the fact you may not be everybody’s first choice, whom you find attractive is somewhat out of your hands.  Dating experts agree, however, that someone who is not your usual type may be worth getting to know.  Initially physical attraction is what entices us to flirt with or get to know someone, but considerably more important factors play into creating lasting relationships.  Compatibility, trust, communication, and common interests, just to name a few. 

My point is simple.  Larger ladies of the world, unless it’s what you’re looking for, you are doing yourself a disservice to mess around with an FA if, in fact, all he is after is a wham! bam! thank you, ma’am! one night stand.  You also do yourself disservice to believe that the only men who will find you attractive are also fat.  Feel free to enjoy whomever you want, regardless of your body type or theirs.  Admittedly, this is not an overnight fix, but as the old adage says:  there’s no accounting for taste (at least for the purposes of this zine).