Sunday, May 18, 2014

Things My Students Say

Disclaimer: My students work really hard and I have the upmost respect for what they're doing. It is not easy to learn another language. But sometimes the hilarity is too much. And so I have to share.

"Suddenly I saw two cars craft together." Imagining two old-fashioned cars scrapbooking? Me too.

"Rabbits don't like eating carrots. They really like eating Cambridge." Raise your hand if you're thinking about the killer bunny from Holy Grail.

"A salesperson must be butter-tonsiled." Sigh. This is why I tell my students to throw away their translators.

"Most people where I live prefer sweet food because it tastes like dating girls." Tell me more...

"Q: Is your name 'popular?' A: No, it's not. My name is Wang." Classic.

"Student: 'The river is so polluted. You can smell it when you walk through it.' 
Me: 'Why are you walking through the river?' 
Student: 'To get to school.'" In my day, we had to walk through the river. Both ways.

"We'll need one meter long of butter and a kilometer long of cheese." Honest truth: This is how my students suggested we make guacamole.

"In Singapore, if it's a bad offense, they hit you in the ass." Well, that about covers it then.

"A boy climbs a tree. His friend tells him don't climb so high it's dangerous. The boy climbs the tree more. He does not pay attention. He fell. This story tells us we should be careful in everything." A Year 1 student's biography of another student.

"I love nature sounds, like dogs barfing." The best part of waking up...

"I want to use my head, but it doesn't work." Yes, this is always a problem.

"They fell in love and the woman got pig nuts." Love hurts.

On the board, I asked my students to write a bad habit they have and then the other students should make suggestions. This is what happened in one case:
My bad habit is that I take my turtle to bed.
You should talk to God and ask for help. 
Where is God?
On the top of the board.