Google Translator Needs a Translator

I think I solved the mystery of who translated the incomprehensible signs at the ocean Jake and I found a couple weeks ago: Google Translator. I was searching for restaurants in QHD and some of the Google translations were so terrible that I felt the need to share the amusement with you, the people I love.

"Local dishes like a museum, not a flagship seafood flavor but better." Better than the flagship flavor?

"Spanish mackerel dumplings like to eat here."I shall keep an eye out for them next time. 

"Business is a very good place and we had almost or full twelve passengers. That is a little heavy oil." Sounds it.

"Very affordable amount of foot, travelling by car this time to eat a meal, is the ordinary mushrooms are delicious and Sam Sun. And clean after eating stomach without any uncomfortable situation." I was unaware one could, in fact, eat stomach comfortably. 

"Fewer people really go to the point of things too much, really eat ah dumpling pattern particularly, seafood stuffing a lot of options, but the water is not good to eat saucer head, but not so much more tired or more people to value." Who you calling saucer head?

This got me thinking, what else to Google Translator butcher?

A hotel review: "Room, a bit of old hardware, services quite intimate." Some nails for getting nailed.

A hotel review: "Beach is sandy, still okay." I mean, yeah, generally. I would be more considered if the beach WEREN'T sandy...

A hotel review: "Although we most always choose the free exercise, but confined to economic conditions, or will try to save costs, so that was good value for money with every penny." Glad you put that bit in about the exercise. Also glad that this was the first sentence and that you started with such a clear point.

A hotel review: "So far, end of the trip, recalling stay experience, people may feel reluctant to really have some dismay."  I, too, am also generally reluctant to have dismay.

A hotel review: "The hotel is to fall back on in Dongshan beach side balcony in the room will be able to gaze into the distance in front of the sea, Zhenshaotaosheng sleep at night, do not have some fun." It probably won't be fun if the hotel falls beach side.

A hotel review: "Overall, the hotel was quite satisfied with the level of service. Although the city is not, do not count on the original by the cold on the line, but after all, the hotel is in the tourist city, through the world, also see trained." Good to be confident, hotel! You'll get there, city!

A hotel review: "Just before the trip to the hotel, was under the car, the bellboy to help us Lakaichemen long agile, deftly write down the license plate number of the taxi and put the cards left us a note, and enthusiasm to help us carry luggage. We can observe that Porter was not the kind of utilitarian overly enthusiastic." Well, you said no fun.

A hotel review: "People look at some of the hotel group with such grace, firmly entangle my other hotel control ah." Get a room.

A hotel review: "Hair carefully placed in the black velvet bag, then placed in the wash basin below." What?

Tourist attraction review: "Others went to dinner once, because it went to Beidaihe beginning thought it a go. After it was fond to be a more suitable cultivation Nandai place, the whole is a bathing beach, where the sean can wash bath, massage and a great seaside entertainment is hotel accommodation in general." Couldn't agree more.

Tourist attraction review: "Existing neighborhoods chaotic, dirty, poor and beautiful beaches formed no small contrast, good mood impact is not small." It's absolutely ENORMOUS!

Tourist attraction review: "Wash seaweed, sand will play with the waves, the sun will be the sun." Good to have a plan.

Tourist attraction review: "Good like that submarine lying on the glass corridor seems that the people are integrated into the underwater world of mermaids performing a specific time as well as if there are fish feeding show white whale performances but occupying a seat in advance Oh" Good like that submarine? No, no, no. GREAT like that submarine!

***BE PREPARED FOR A "GOOGLE TRANSLATOR NEEDS A TRANSLATOR" PART II***