Friday, July 8, 2011

Deflatable Toy or How the Internet Kills Your Spirit

I was reading an article from, which offered men advice on how
to tell their  girlfriends to lose weight.  The six “crafty” steps were: 

1.  Tell her you no longer like the way she looks in her sexy outfit, but can’t explain why; 2.  Constantly complain to her that you feel fat so she will become obsessed with her own weight;
3.  Pick your homeliest friend to say, while you and your girlfriend are present, “Your girlfriend isn’t nearly as attractive since she gained some weight;”
4.  Tell her you have a new female trainer at the gym to induce her jealousy reflex;
 5.  Buy her a fashionable gift a couple sizes too small for her and tell her the salesperson told you it was for smaller women to trick her mind into constant exercise and diet to keep you believing she’s thin;
6. Offer to lose weight together. 

Excuse my French, but what the hell is that?!  To any man out there who has read this article and is thinking about or has already begun implementing these “crafty” steps, I would like to say that any woman with an IQ higher than a rock will figure out that all of these things are just backhanded ways of telling her you think she’s too fat and any self-respecting woman will either confront you about your narrow minded view of beauty or dump your sorry ass.

As much as you may want to believe that women are shapeless canvases of play dough waiting for a partner to come along and make her into their vision, we’re not. In fact, whatever shape we come in, we came in long before you stepped into the picture.  And further more, chances are we already scrutinize ourselves enough, then add into that the perpetual media mantra readily available on television, magazine covers, and in movies that thin is in and that once in a while you’ve “gotta take one for the team” (read:  you must occasionally entertain the fat chick so that the others of you can get laid), and that there is only one way to be beautiful.  So drop it.  We’re not looking for that crap at home.

The next article I found about dating fat women was equally as bad.  Entitled “Ten Reasons to Date a Fat Girl” by Gabrielle Talley of Break Studios, her article – assumedly written to be fat positive – comes across as a patronizing generalization about what you will get out of dating fat women.  According to Talley, fat girls are more focused on their brains (read:  have given up their appearances) and thus hold more interesting conversations, are more apt to share your humor, and more apt to be knowledgeable or want to increase knowledge.  Fat girls will eat anything.  Fat girls love to be touched (read:  they rarely get it, so they’re more inclined to give it).  Fat girls rarely or never work out, so you’ll have time to do more fun things together. Fat girls are inclined to trust because their only requirement is that you’re honest.  Fat girls are up for anything (read:  complacent).  My personal favorite reason to date a fat girl, however, requires a direct quote:  “Many other guys may look at your fat girl, but not too many will hit on her. Thin girls get hit on all the time. You never have to worry about your fat girl getting picked up by another man.”[i]  Thanks for the vote of confidence, Talley!

[i]Gabriella Talley, “Ten Reasons to Date a Fat Girl, “Break Studios, (12 March 2010),

1 comment:

  1. I think you're reading into the "reasons to date a fat girl" article a little bit too much, but I did get a laugh from "fat girls will eat anything." Really? Anything? A carburetor? The tension you feel when people start dieing in the movie 'Alien'? Country virtuoso Roy Clark?