Friday, March 4, 2016

Star-Spangled Banter

America: What the actual fuck is happening over there?

Most of my news comes first from Facebook, which I then channel through various sources - some more legit than others - and all I can say is: really? REALLY?

Other than keeping the meme writers heavily employed, I'm not seeing a whole hell of a lot of politics happening, particularly on the Republican side. I recently just watched a short video in which Donald Drumpf supporters were read a bunch of Hitler quotes, told that Drumpf said them, and asked if they supported those policies. (By the by, I'm using Drumpf's real last name according to John Oliver - highly recommend this video). When they - flabbergasted - were told that those words were quotes from Drumpf but from Hitler, one supporter said, and I quote, "If Donald Trump said (these quotes) I'd support 'em."

I think this provides an excellent rule of thumb: Does it sound like something Hitler would say? Let's see how we do with quotes from our current Republican candidates.

"Swastikas are a symbol of hate for some people, too. And yet they still exist in museums." - Ted Cruz

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Yes. But, shhhhh! The anti-logician is speaking.

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”  - Donald Drumpf

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Uh, no, probably not. Follow up question: Does this sound like something you want your president to say?

"Let's ask Hillary Clinton. She believes in the systematic murder of children in the womb." - Chris Christie

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Well, okay, this one's a bit of a stretch, but it's the phrasing that clinches the Hitlerevity for me. Instead of saying, "Hillary Clinton supports abortion," Christie chose to refer to abortion as "the systematic murder of children," which sounds a lot like Hillary Clinton is armed and loaded with a bunch of pregnant women lined up against a wall. 

“When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time.” - Donald Drumpf

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Yes actually, in  more modern but equally delusional way.

"If I'm the President of the United States and you're thinking about joining al-Qaeda or ISL, I'm not gonna call a judge. I'm gonna call a drone and we will kill you." - Lindsey Graham 

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Yes, yes, 1000 times yes!

"I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” - Donald Drumpf

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Yes, just replace "Mexico" with the Jews. Or Gypsies. Or Poles. Or any other list of people whom Hitler found offensive.

"People have a right to be Democrat. People have a right to be wrong. I know they're the same thing." - Marco Rubio

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Kind of. Being a Democrat = being wrong. I mean, he's not threatening our lives...yet.

"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best. They're not sending you, they're sending people that have lots of problems and they're bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. ... And some, I assume, are good people." - Donald Drumpf

Does this sound like something Hitler would say? Yes, again just replace "Mexico" with any one of the myriad groups Hitler hated. But it's nice that Drumpf can see the good in, you know, some of them. 

I could go on and on, but suffice to say, you can't make this stuff up. A friend of mine on Facebook posted a video of one of the Republican debates and, more than anything, I was annoyed at the lack of sustenance. The video, which was about 4 minutes long, was mostly just other candidates trying to say something while Donald Trump interrupted. I wanted to jump through the screen, use my teacher voice, and be like, "We'd all be happy to listen to you when it's your turn to speak. But right now Marco Rubio is trying to make his point." Or slap him across the face. He was really annoying me! I can feel my blood boiling now. In order to not leave this post feeling really pissed off, I shall leave you with this meme. (As I said before, the meme writers are having a veritable feast with all this material.)

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