Why You Spent Money On It: They were definitely going to appreciate in value someday, especially those collector bears. They were certainly not just going to sit in the back of your closet.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you were the God of the sea monkeys. And even though they weren't snuggly or even cute, you held their tiny little lives in your hands. But you kept accidentally knocking the tank over.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you lost all the damn pieces. Seriously, Polly Pocket was unnecessarily small. BUT AWESOME. I actually only had a couple of these, but a friend of mine had an amazing collection that I was privileged enough to play with.
Why You Spent Money On It: To record your prolific thoughts just as soon as they popped into your head. Or to record your hit single. Just to record things.
Why You Spent Money On It: I never spent money on it, actually, because I, tragically, didn't have one. Which I think is why, as an adult, I still find so much joy in this bossy little toy.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you were an aspiring artist with a penchant for right angles and living life on the edge. Because, let's face it, some kid knocks into you in the hallway and your masterpiece is gone for good.
Why You Spent Money On It: To collect all the slammers and the bottle caps and also as an anger management tool. This game was significantly bad ass.
Why You Spent Money On It: Perhaps you, like me, bought this at a tag sale and only had one game for it that you could never quite figure out. Or perhaps you actually used your Game Boy. But likely you bought it because it was the height of technology and you, obviously, were very, very cool.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because it counted how many rotations you did up to 999. And that's waaaaaaaaaay too hard to do for yourself when you're hopping around.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you had failed the Sea Monkeys (once again), but you would certainly not fail the Tamagotchi. You would feed it and play with it and take care of it, even if that meant you had to put it in your desk during class so that you could furtively give your little chick its morning meal. JUST DON'T DIE, PIXELATED PET!
Why You Spent Money On It: Because it is certain. And you could change any answer you didn't agree with. Even though it was magic.
Why You Spent Money On It: I don't know about you, but I spent a significant amount of time waging water wars as a child. Super Soaker was not quite as super a soaker as the hose, but it was so much better than those tiny water pistols.
Why You Spent Money On It: Mostly you just wanted to know what in the fuck it was. It made your hands smell weird, could create farting noises, and came in unnatural colors. You couldn't really make anything out of and it slowly both dried out and collected particles of dirt and dust. But the enigma was too much to bear! Thanks, Nickelodeon!
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you could FINALLY draw on your stuff without lasting consequences. I used to write secret messages on the underpants.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you are a girl and you are supposed to LOVE shopping. Plus, it had credit cards and it talked! Let's be honest, shopping in this game was a perilous, strategic adventure, not unlike Risk.
Why You Spent Money On It: Because you were suddenly an amazing athlete. You could catch anything in all the coolest ways. Behind the back? Hell yes. Above the head? Oh, yeah. Under the knee? Ah, show us a challenge!
Why You Spent Money On It: These little buggers are soothing. You can bounce 'em, rub 'em on your face, dangle 'em by a little rubbery string, and they smelled kinda cool.